If you're like me, you've likely noticed that the initial enthusiasm around “new year-new me” resolutions starts to fade towards the end of January and has pretty much left the scene by Valentine’s Day. The energy and focus that surged in early January often gives way to the realities of daily life and workplace pressure. Ugh. Do we have to resign ourselves to another year of discarded goals and old habits? Why does establishing new habits feel like such an uphill battle?
In my pursuit of reclaiming that January energy and focus, I've immersed myself in the science and advice surrounding goal setting and habit formation. I've uncovered a wealth of tools and tactics that likely have varying degrees of effectiveness depending on the individual. I’m going to need to continue to experiment and let trial and error uncover what works best for me. Unless you’ve landed on the perfect formula for breaking bad habits and building good new ones, I suspect that the same may hold true for you.
With that caveat in mind, however, I offer three pieces of advice for your consideration:
1. Keep it Simple:
A common stumbling block in pursuing new habits is the temptation to set overly ambitious or numerous goals. My coaching clients often come in charging and ambitiously outline their 10 development goals, each with a number of sub-goals. I love their ambition, but I know that spreading ourselves too thin often leads to subpar results. It's more helpful to start with one or two goals and outline specific, achievable actions to pursue them. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, we might take our cue from kids -- ask a 7- or 8-year old what their New Year’s resolutions are and you’re likely to hear one or two simple, straight-forward and doable wishes: “make a new friend at school”, “be kinder to my sister”, “keep my bedroom more tidy”. So, what are the one, two or three things that will stretch you as a person or as a leader that aren’t completely out of reach? For instance, I've identified my three main buckets—Personal, Professional, and Family—and attached a meaningful goal to each.
2. Keep it Grounded:
Establishing the right foundation for habit formation involves delving deeper than I initially thought! First, we’re unlikely to pursue new behaviours and goals if we can’t see how they connect to our core values. Taking time to reflect on what truly matters to us as a friend, a partner or an employer can serve as a powerful catalyst for personal change. For example, I value being healthy for myself and my family. I am more motivated to make changes in my diet and exercise when I remember and reflect on this important value driver. Second, we are unlikely to pursue new behaviours if they don’t align with how we label or identify ourselves. Every habit has a backstory, as James Clear notes in "Atomic Habits". In order to change the habit you may need to change the story! Our behaviors stem from our self-beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves.. If I don’t see myself as someone who is an insightful and productive contributor to my field, it’s unlikely that I’ll act like that person and take the time to write a monthly blog (a new habit for me!). What stories do you tell yourself about the kind of person and leader you are, and are these helpful or hurtful in regards to the personal and professional goals you are pursuing? The more our goals or resolutions are aligned with our values and grounded in our identities, the more likely we are to pursue them and persist when the going gets tough.
3. Keep it Flexible (and forgiving):
Contrary to popular belief, incorporating flexibility into our habit-forming efforts can increase success. For example, research indicates that individuals given flexibility in their exercise timing and routines are more likely to pursue new exercise habits and also maintain them longer-term. We can harness flexibility even further by paying attention to how we frame our goals. Wharton professor, Marissa Sharif (Go HERE for a short video that explains her approach) suggests that if we aim to do something 3 days a week (e.g., exercising, professional planning and strategy think time, greater informal interactions & networking with peers) , we might consider setting our goal at 5 days instead of 3, but then allow ourselves 2 available “emergency reserves” or “cheat days”. Shifting how we frame the goal and extending ourselves this bit of grace can make us more resilient in the face of inevitable set-backs. One size does not fit all, so be flexible as you try out different ways to achieve your resolution. As I attempt to begin adding more running into my exercise, I’ve discovered that time and distance goals aren’t terribly motivating for me. However, I can’t resist jogging along to a good song with the right beat, so I’ve created a playlist of my running songs and my goal is to pick a song and run for the length of it. I have a collection of shorter and longer songs so that I can pick whatever suits me in the moment… as long as I run the length of that song!
In addition to these principles, here are a couple of other habit gems I've found particularly valuable:
- Focus on the habits that precede the habit. Consider the small, simple acts that can lead you toward your desired behavior. These "gateway habits," as James Clear describes them, are like an entrance ramp to a highway that naturally lead you down a path towards a desired course of action. For example, to build a new behaviour of walking in the morning, consider the pre-habit of putting on your running gear as the very first thing you do when you wake up. You might even consider the pre-pre-habit of making sure your gear is washed and ready the night before! Consistency in these pre-habit rituals can make a big difference.
- Consider habit pairing. Linking a new behavior to an existing habitual activity can drive consistency. For example, if building a practice of reflecting on your work-day is a goal, you might use the time when you brush your teeth in the evening to ask yourself some reflection questions like -- “what went well today?”, “what could have been better?”, “what do I want to repeat tomorrow?”. This simple pairing with tooth-brushing can integrate this new reflection behavior seamlessly into your daily routine.
Here’s hoping that by embracing the principles of simplicity, grounding, and flexibility in our pursuit of new habits, we can navigate past the February slump and propel ourselves toward success in the months to come!
